Possible Competitor

Question
Hi, my names Naomi and I'm going to enter high school next year. I'm hoping to try out for the swim team next year, as a freshman, because I love the water and swimming in general and I've heard a lot about its benefits from my friends and cousins, but there is one problem: I suck.

I can swim... barely. I can keep my head above the water and I have a fairly handy backstroke... but thats it. If I try to do a breast stroke, I move very slowly no matter how broad my stroke and I'm always sputtering. I come out with a neck cramp from trying to stay up. My kicks are splashy; my breathing terrible (when swimming); my strokes inneffective, choppy, and/or splashier than my kicks; I cant do that flippy thing; I cant dive too well (even if I aim for shallow - crouched and everything - I go very deep; I cant do any of it. :'(

I really want to be able to do swim team next year, and its not like I'm in very poor shape: I run and play tennis; and if I want to swim, I have to be good to the minority because, unlike tennis or track, its a selective team at my school.

So, what I'm asking for is some form of... advice, regimen, anything that can help me. I have the whole summer to practice.. I just need your help. There's a public pool nearby thats empty quite a lot, but the lessons there are crap (sry). I should know, they've not helped me any.

HELP!!

Answer
Naomi--
Sorry it's taken so long to get back to you.
The first thing you need to do is work on smoothing your strokes out.  To do this you need to think about keeping your strokes long and smooth.  With your kicking try not to bend your knees a lot when kicking in freestyle or back stroke, you don't want to feel like you are riding a bicycle when you are kicking.  
As for your breaststroke, the ideal stroke isn't a wide stroke, your hands shouldn't be any wider than your shoulders.  The key to all strokes is to keep your hands deep in the water where the water is not moving.
The key to swimming is to stay relaxed.
When you are swimming and breathing, remember you should never hold your breath, you should be inhaling or exhaling.  If you can get some help(not swim lessons), from someone watching, maybe they can give you some tips also.
Hope this helps, if I can help more let me know
George