My daughter was asked to try out, then was cut

Question
My freshman daughter heard the high school volleyball team was looking for more players.  She has never played volleyball officially but we do play alot in the back yard.  I have never officially played volleyball so I am not very knowledgable.  
The school already had there camps and try-outs but was going to allow her to play.  After 1 1/2 practices she was cut for her lack of skills.  
If she was allowed to stay on the team and allowed to practice with the team by next year her skills could have been competitive.  However, they would not let her stay on the team because of the following:Her skill level was just too low coming in, especially with two squads who should win most of their games.  Unfortunely, from a coach's point of view, we are looking for things that are going to improve our program, and having her try to play catch up is not helping the girls get better.

As much as you hear that kids need to be more active, you would think schools would be more willing to support are kids.  She finally wanted to do something, be a part of something, and was kicked to the curb.

Answer
Hello Rebecca!  Welcome to www.allexperts.com!  

I have read over your email a number of times.  In fact, I printed it and as I had parking lot duty at my school, I was walking around reading it.

I'm a little concerned that the coach asked for more girls to try out, then cut some.  That's rather brutal. But everything else the coach did/said sounds fine.  In fact, it's more than fine.  It's right.  

a) If your daughter wanted to play vball, yet had only done it in the backyard, she had no chance of making a team with a good program.
b) She had a great chance of making the team in a no-cut private school, or a very small school who barely have enough girls to play.  For example, there's a school in Lynchburg Va that only has FIVE girls in the entire senior class.  Yep, making a sports team at that school is easy!  

This is how I judge how I should keep on my team:
Question 1:  Can she help me this season?  If not;
Question 2:  Can she help me in future season?  If the answer to both is "no," then I can't keep her.

My most important job as a coach is to look out for the team first.  Not individuals.  Not parents.  Not the assistant coach and not me.  For the team. That's why I have rules.  That's why I give the team speeches & warnings.  That's why there are consequences for being late, for getting detention, for missing practice, etc.  If I'm directing tryouts and I don't think a child can help us this year or next year as much as other girls, then I can't keep her on the team.

Now what does "help us" mean?  I have to be able to foresee her as a hitter, blocker, setter, passer/digger, server or cheerleader.  And I rarely ever keep cheerleaders b/c they never get to play, and that's a parent explosion waiting to happen. (Proof of this happened at Nationals, when two parents hollered, screamed, grabbed at me, cursed, threatened me........all b/c their daughters didn't play.  Amazing.)

You said the program your daughter tried out for is a strong program.  So on a scale of 1 to 10, let's say the girls on the JV team are all 6's, and your daughter is close to a 1.  So all those 6's are supposed to stand around, watch your daughter try to learn to play the game?  So all those girls who chose to start playing vball in the 6th or 7th grade, and may have been playing club ball, thus have 30 months and 1000 hours.......they're supposed to watch your daughter's overhand serve make it half-way to the net?  No, they aren't.  Your daughter doesn't need to be on that team.  The coaches did the right thing to let her go.

Another example:  Would I want a girl who'd never passed Algebra I being transferred to the Trigonometry class?  No, of course not.  Would the students in the class have patience while the teacher is having to spend 20 minutes a day catching up that one girl? Of course they wouldn't.  Suppose there's a Trig Competition next week, with our school playing the country rival.  Will we be ready?  Not as ready as we should be, b/c the teacher is having to spend so much time trying to catch the girl up who never should have been with us to begin with.  

I'm not being personal b/c I don't know you at all.  But Ninety-nine percent of parents have no clue how their child really acts in math class, what their child is really doing at the football game, and how their child really compares with the other kids who are trying out.   No clue.

I hope that the girls who were kept on the coach's team were either (a) the best vball players at tryouts, or (b) had the best attitudes or (c) have the most potential.

Your daughter got "kicked to the curb" b/c she hadn't prepared.  Just like the girl in Trig class.  After a few hours of Trig, she will be taken out of that class b/c she isn't ready to keep up with the students in that class.

There is still hope. Your daughter can try to play low-level club ball this winter/spring, she can attend 6 or 7 camps this coming summer, she can start receiving private lessons, etc.  But if she thinks she can try out for the tennis team, the basketball team, or the softball team as a rookie freshman, she's probably not going to be successful.

Many parents think that while tennis and basketball are sports that take years of training, volleyball is a "bump and giggle" sport.  But while that perception lingers, the reality is vanishing.  Girls begin playing vball in the 5th or 6th grade.  They play 10 months a year.  They learn from coaches who have been around the country, and they play as hard as softball players.  So whatever a girl does in the backyard is a waste.  Just like a boy who learns how to wrestle on the bed with his brother, then tries out for the high school wrestling team as a rookie freshman.  He will probably get "kicked to the curb" b/c he's an Algebra student trying to do Trigonometry.  

No one deserves to be on a team. No one.  Being on a team is something a child earns by (a), (b) and (c) above.  You're saying that your daughter should be on the team b/c "kids need to be more active".  You're wrong.  Kids should be active b/c they need to be active.  But they should not be allowed to hold back other kids who have been working for years.

I've been teaching 30 years, but do I deserve the most important classes?  No, I earn them.  And for the 5th straight year, I am teaching 5 classes where students have to pass an end-of-course test in order to graduate.  Some math teachers teach none, b/c the principal doesn't trust them to prepare the students for the end-of-course test.   When I start doing poorly, when other teachers stand out, then I will also be kicked to the curb and lose my special classes.

Also, are you saying that every child that tries out should make it?  Then the basketball team might have 20 one year? 30 the next year?  I disagree with you.  We don't keep players on a team b/c it'll make them have better self-esteem.  We keep kids b/c of (a), (b) and (c).

Thank you for sharing all your thoughts. I know that it is painful, but if the coaches are looking out for the their team first, then they're doing the right thing.  Neither you, nor your daughter, nor the coach, nor the manager, etc. are more important than the team.

For all this typing, please do one thing for me!  :)  Please visit me at www.coachhouser.com.  There are enough smiling faces there to make everyone feel better all day long.

Tom Houser