Club girl playing up, learning new position, bummed!

Question
Hello
My daughter decided to play on a higher level club team where she will be a backup player.  The last 2 years she played OH.  She is 14 and 5??  I know that is short for a front row player.  She can jump and hit the ball hard to the back but can抰 block as effectively as the tall girls on the team.   She has a nice jump serve too that hits the back line.  The coach likes her quick feet and is trying her out as libero.   She is bummed.  I think it is a great opportunity to learn a new position and new skills.  What can I say to get her to realize and embrace this new position?  Teenagers sometimes do not see the big picture.  

Answer
Good afternoon!

Welcome to www.allexperts.com.  It's great to hear from you!

a) Ask your daughter would she understand if a coach decided that she play center on her bball team?  "Of course not.  I'm too small."  Same thing here.  As long as a girl is playing pee wee basketball, a small center is tolerable.  But, eventually, winning is a big deal.  And on the higher level club, a 5'2" front row player will have little chance of performing at a level that the team needs.  She will understand and accept that fact.  

b) This was your daughter's decision.  She will be a back up player, according to you.  Why is the bummed?  Isn't this like breaking up with a boyfriend, then being bummed b/c she doesn't have a boyfriend?  You can tell her that this was her decision, and just like all decisions, there are good and bad outcomes.  You learn to deal with them.  This line of reasoning may be a little harder for her to swallow.  :)  

c) Everyone will sit the bench sometime, somewhere.  Every player will be on a team where she isn't one of the biggest fish.  For example, guess what it's like for even Kobe Bryant to play on the USA Olympic team?  He doesn't even play half of the time.  She may say, "Kobe is on the bench 60% of the time?"  Yep, and so was Labron James!  

d) It's a privilege to play on an upper team.  I had 12 girls on my 16's team last season that participated in Nationals in Miami!  Even the girls that got less playing time will tell you that they LOVED it, and wouldn't have traded it for more playing time on a lesser team.  All these girls are having GREAT high school seasons, they're all starting, they're all stars.  One of them broke the Virginia all time high school record with 43 kills in a match!!  

Finally:  I'm proud of you for seeing the big picture.  Most parents see only ONE thing:  Their daughter being a star.  But you see your daughter's improvement as top priority.  YOU'RE AWESOME!!  Please keep that attitude!  Keep that feeling.  Don't fall into the pit of selfishness like many other parents do.  If you want to know more about what I'm talking about, just read some earlier posts here from parents.  Shew!  Or discover how I was assaulted, threatened and cursed in the middle of the Miami Convention Center by some parents in July........all over playing time.  Amazing.  

Again, thank you visiting.  I hope you have a moment to visit www.coachhouser.com!  You will see a lot of smiling faces!