QuestionHello, my dauughter is a freshman on the High
school J.V. Volleyball team; the team only has seven players as they go to a very small country school, and the talent talent is mediocre at best...The girls have have played nine games and their record is 1-8. Tonight, the coach made the girls serve underhand during their match as punishment...needless to say, the girls felt humiliated.
I believe the coach used poor judgment and this will deflate the girls confidence of being able to serve overhand again....PLEASE HELP!
AnswerGood morning Chris and welcome to www.allexperts.com!
There are two sides to this issue. Let's look at the side you're concerned about. When I started coaching, I soon learned that it was my players AND me trying to accomplish something. Not just them. Not just me. So, when I started talking and not hollering, when I started creating fun drills rather than all competitive drills, when I started talking/teaching/motivating rather than punishing, everything got better.
But it wasn't always this way. Your comments have made me think back to my ..... rougher days. :(
When I was a young man coaching my JV team, I remember being so upset with them that I stopped helping them. They were making goofy mistakes, they got lost in their rotation, etc. We were good, but getting killed. (Later I discovered that our opponents were actually a very strong team!) Over the course of the next 12 hours, I felt worse and worse and worse. I had embarrassed my team. Even worse, I had abandoned them. I had talked with them about team, team, team. Then when they needed me -- regardless of the reason -- I wasn't there. The next day at practice, I sat down, gathered them all around, and apologized. I promised to them that I'd never do it again. Is that how I would treat my math students? my own kids? my wife? just to teach them a lesson? No. Never.
I swore to myself that I'd never do that again. And I haven't. Even now, when my team is down 9-23 vs. a far superior opponent, I always keep helping them in any way I can. B/c if I give up on them, or if I stop helping/teaching them, then in a few hours when we're at 23-23, we'll lose that game also. Guaranteed.
I want my team to play it's absolute best. If I do something that disrupts the team, then they won't play their best. And if I preach TEAM, then disrupt my team by being stupid/immature, then I need to do some soul searching. Am I all talk? Am I really mature enough to be a coach? I can't listen and follow my own rules/preaching?
A few years ago, we were playing a team at a tournament in DC in February that we thought was very good. In fact, we'd barely beat then at Monument City in Richmond in January, then we were pretty bummed to see them on our net again in DC. But we started beating them again. The coach was so mad, that when she called a timeout, the entire team started running....end line to net, and back, and again, and again, again. I figured it for the balls that had fallen. Well, the team crashed, we won easily, we continued to love/support/encourage each other, while the opponents ran each time Coach called a timeout.
But all this is not leading to condemnation of your coach! Now let's study the other side of the coin. Are the players on the team missing 30% or 40% of their serves? If so, then the coach MUST do something. With only 7 girls, Coach can't sub. Also, did Coach give the girls a day or two to practice their underhand serves? Then....hmmmm....this may not have been as disrupting as we have at first thought!
By the way, this is the exact reason I HATE to have only 8 or 9 or 10 kids on a team. It's b/c if a few players get accustomed to playing 24/7, then she realizes that she cannot be taken out for a minute/hour/day. I'm not saying that will make a player lazy/careless. But every player will occasionally need a "time-out," some need it nearly every match! haha And with only 7 players, there's no way to get a player's attention (and the bench is the BEST place to get the attention of someone who refuses to change!). And what is she gets hurt? Then what?
Finally:
* I have never done what you recommended. But I have done some things when I was younger that showed poor judgment. Do I think the coach used poor judgment? Maybe. But did the team's serving improve? If coach said, "As soon as you can serve 90% in the court underhand, you can serve overhand," and it worked, then maybe it was a positive.
* After watching/coaching volleyball for nearly 25 years, I try to do NOTHING that embarrasses my players. Why? I want them to play well. If they are free from fear, they will probably play better. If they play better, they will have more fun, and we'll probably win more. That leads to playing even better, more fun, more winning, playing better and better, more fun, etc. See the spiral?
* On the other hand, a coach or parent that berates, embarrasses, humiliates, etc. will cause their team to spiral as well.......right down the toilet.
The best thing you, the dad, can do now? Just swallow it. Let it go. If you get the coach's face, things may get worse. If you run to the principal.....for what? B/c you disagree with her coaching strategy? That's not a reason to report her. If I were the principal, I'd tell you, "Be a fan. Not a coach. If you want to coach, fill out the application." So, no, don't do it. Just wait a few more weeks and school ball will be over, and you never have to play on the school team again. Then club ball will start....and you hope hope for better.
Encourage your daughter to quit? No!!! If you do, that'll hurt the other 6 girls, and your daughter will be known a as a quitter, thus jeopardizing her future playing ANY school sport or ANY travel sport.
What else can I do for you? I hope things go better. Please keep in touch with me either here or at
[email protected]. And please visit www.coachhouser.com. You'll see a lot of smiling faces! I think that's what volleyball should have!
Coach Houser
