Daughter is getting inferior experience! Approach the coach

Question
Hello,

My daughter is a freshmen that played on the JV volleyball team and currently playing club. She has been placed on a team that is not in the least challenging to her, not to mention she is not learning new techniques. I normally stay out of it and allow her to handle situations like this but we are both frustrated.

What is the best way to approach the Coach about this or is it best not to?

Thanks.

Answer
Good afternoon and welcome to www.allexperts.com!  
It's great to hear from you!

* My first question would be did you not know this was going to happen?  Here in Roanoke, there are coaches that girls always avoid b/c their style is known.  At my tryouts on Nov 21, some girls didn't try out for my National team b/c they didn't want what I offered.

* OK, if you tell me, "No, Coach Houser, we didn't know about her coach or her teammates, and we had no time to investigate this coach," then I will be more patient, but it doesn't make solving your problem any easier.  And your problem may not be solvable.  Here in Roanoke, girls are already quitting teams, giving coaches ultimatums.  

* I wouldn't approach the coach.  I'd first think about going to the club director, and try to meet with him/her face-to-face at a Starbucks. (both club directors are very approachable here in Roanoke).   Unless the coach is curseing, in appropriately touching, inappropriately commenting, etc., I would not act angry or give your director ultimatums.  I'd just tell him/her what your feelings are.  "We feel like our daughter is a good player.  She is at least hungry to improve and to learn.  But her coach and teammates appear to not be.  Do you have any suggestions?"  One suggestion could be change teams; but, that's probably not possible b/c most club teams only have enough to play + a few.  Taking a MB from one team might leave them with only 2, and might give the next team 4.  Not the optimal situation!  In fact, I wouldn't think any wise club director would allow such. PLUS, it's a terrible precedent!  

I imagine the director will do the following:
a) support the coach (unless something criminal/unethical is going on);
b) tell you "I'm sorry"/
c) recommend that you play out the season.

The director will probably not say:
a) just like school ball, every kid is not a perfect fit for every coach/team.  
b) just like on every team, there are a few kids who are superior to the rest of the team, and thus aren't challenged by the practices;
b) you are free to quit, as long as you're fully paid (you money has been budgetting to allow the team to go to the trips they have made plans to attend.... and have probably already been paid for!);
c) please try to investigate your situation better next year before you accept being on a team.  Everyone wants you and your daughter to be happy.

OK, let's say you can't go the club director.  Then you can try to approach the coach, but you have to be very very careful!  Coaches usually take the success & failure of their teams personally, just like the players.  And, for some coaches, if you are anywhere close to being critical, they will become defensive & argumentative.  They may even make a scene.  Some will take it out on your daughter.  So, be careful!  

I hope I have helped some.  But I'm just shooting in the dark, hoping to hit a target.  If you have any feedback or have more questions, please let me know.  

And for all this typing, haha, please visit my team and my staff at www.coachhouser.com.  We have scheduled 6 site camps for 2011, and have room for a few more.  I personally still have open June 27-30, July 18-21, Aug 1-4, and Aug 8-11.  Members of my staff can do nearly any week.  Let me know if there's anything we can do for you!

Have a great week!
Coach Houser