My JV daughter is being forced to watch varsity, or be punished! WHY?

Question
My daughter is playing on the JV2 team as a sophomore! Today she had to be at the high school at 11:30 to watch the Varsity play. Which is fine by me. Then I was told that the JV2 team would be playing at 6:00. So I take time off of work to watch the game. And the only teams that got to play where JV and Varsity the jv2 girls got to dress down and set on the bench. (Supporting the other 2 teams) No problem with that. My son was here from out of town so we went to grab a bit to eat. I knew the game would be getting over soon so I sent a text asking if she was ready to go home after being the most of the day!!!! The coach told her she had to run on monday for answering my tex! But the varsity girls can sit around and text while the jv girls are playing. Also I think I should be able to take my daughter home when she is done playing! I make sure she gets to stay most of the time. But there are times when I have to get home. What are your feelings?

Answer
Good evening and welcome to www.allexperts.com!

I'm sorry that it's been so long since you contacted me.  Let's get right to it.   

My first question to you will be the most important:   
Was this deal known before the season started?  Was there a "no texting on the bench" rule?  Maybe you didn't know it, but did your daughter?  If so, then the question is moot. v

Sure, I understand it doesn't seem right, but if the coach has rules that say it's OK to text while you're in the bleachers, but not OK to coach while you're on the bench, then that's the way it is.  My employer has rules, my club rules, my wife has rules.  :)  Most are reasonable and fair.  Some just make you want to scratch your head.  

However, maybe your daughter made the team, then these rules were thrown out at you guys.... which I personally try not to do, and I detest when I hear it done.   

In this case, I recommend you be very careful in bucking the coach.  Coaches have a lot of power, and the ones who tell you the rules after the season begins can be the worst about arbitrarily and randomly punishing/benching/dismissing kids. If you have serious disagreements with the coach, and your daughter doesn't want to play any longer, I recommend you guys finish the season on a positive note (which to coach means "Do what I say."), and then never play for him again.  This will ensure that coaches of other sports will know that she is a good kid, coachable, follows rules, takes her consequences if she breaks a rule, etc.  But, if your daughter wants to play vball again next year, then doing what I just listed above is even more critical.  Regardless of whether the coach comes back, she doesn't want to have a "She and her mom don't want to follow rules" cloud lingering over you the entire off-season.  And you'll be wondering if it will affect her at next falls tryouts.  
 
It is not my intention of taking the coach's side.  I just want you to look at the bigger picture before you protest too loudly.  On the other hand, if the coach ever does anything illegal, immoral, or dangerous, then please notify the administrators of your school immediately.  A coach from my area has just replaced for such behaviors. Wow!   

I hope this has been helpful. Again, I'm sorry it took me so long.  I'm teaching 5 classes that I haven't taught in 15 years, without textbooks, and trying to watch a lot of high school vball at the same time as I prepare for club tryouts.  Shew!   

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Coach Houser
www.coachhouser.com