disappointing club ball

Question
My daughter is 5'8" and a setter for her High School State Championship team (won 10 out of the last 11 seasons), and she tries out for a 171 national power team. She was the only setter on the high school team (made all reginals and state volleyball team). 11 girls are put on the team.  3 setters-one is on the team because she is a sibling and the president of the club's daughter and as the director said it was for convenience, she is 14.  I spoke to the coach and director before the season about this and they both said no problem, the younger setter would play sparingly and when we were ahead (coach says he didn't say it exactly that way but I had sent him an email to thank him for easing our concerns).  Season started and my daughter is on the bench and comes in on the back row. She has a killer serve. Has only set one game. Plays back row.  I spoke to the coach and he said the younger setter had learned the faster set (just learned they had been practicing for one month prior to my daughter and other setter starting because they were still in season, they are home schooled and she also plays on the homeschool team with the star (college commit) middle blocker).  Had we know it was going to go like this, we would have done something different, too late now.  He said she is getting practice setting at practice and I should come, I have and don't see it.  She is getting good touches as a back row player so that I can be good with.  What should we do?  The high school coach is very upset as is the other high school setter's coach (she comes in only as the second setter). We are trying to be a team player but it is hard because we were sold a good story.  Two of the hitters are from my daughter's high school so we thought this would be a great time for them to practice together and be ready for their senior year.  My daughter is a great student (4.2 GPA and student council officer, volunteer, etc.  I am afraid that we have been had. Suggestions?

Answer
Hello Beth and welcome to ALLexperts.com.


We抣l your daughter sounds like she has had a great volleyball journey up to now.
It is always a sensitive issue when explaining to parents why their child is not playing so much on the team as they used to. When seen by the eyes of every one who does not have children playing for a team, people are content with the team put out there.
When looking at the time on court playing through the parent's eyes, the view is totally different.

There are few but most coaches (99%) do want a winning team and choose a team based on what players will help them develop a winning season. For example a parent asked me why did the coach have a sophomore setter, junior setter, and a senior setter when her daughter was a senior and deserved to play that year. You have to prepare future players as the season is going on in order for them to have a great start for next year.

This is what the coaches are doing, they are picking players to keep the winning rotation alive by having new players, experienced players and great players so that cycle continues year after year and of course with this comes the winning season. It is all about just winning games, I think it is and you play with your best team first and then rotate those who are promising when appropriate.


Like I always say to moms, the more your child plays, the less another child plays. And if that mom is all about winning then so is the coach.
There is very little you can do when the coach has already taken a lot of time to plan today's and tomorrow抯 team. This cycle that I spoke about above is done with any sport and in every team. Sometimes we don't want to see what might not be convenience to one.
No coach will ever say exactly what's on their mind or answer a question that might sound too blunt. Because coaches  are professionals, they will always tell the player about who is playing and never their reasons why. The players should not be subjective to why they are not playing that much.

The coach will answer parents but never on their intent about their players in front of everyone and parents should not ask of this from their coaches.
This is funny but when I was teaching 7th grade volleyball one year at my school, a player will never come to practice during the week but yet will bring her mom and ask me if her daughter was going to play if not she can take her home.

If you ask a coach anything that has to do with the line up, who is going to start etc. no coach will ever speak of an answer that is so inappropriate because there are other parents or players present and that is between the coach and the players.
Whatever decision you make I wish you good luck but please give your child the chance to at least be part of the team and help others who are not as experienced as your daughter. Please allow your daughter to share her great input about her long run in a volleyball team and help others reach their potentials.

Will you please take the time to rate me and good luck with your decision about your daughter because I know it is a hard one.
I hope this answers your question.

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