stealing?

Question
I will try to reword my question and hope it makes more sense this time, sorry.  In my daughters 4 & 5th grade fatpitch league we have the rule that you are not allowed to steal home.  I have come across a situation where the after the pitch the catcher has attempted to pick off the runner lead off of 3rd base.  My question is: is this runner allowed to try to run home if the catcher tries to make a play on them?  I have been told that the runner from 3rd cant run home if the catcher throws at her because that would be stealing.  We play by the ASA rules and I am trying to get  a clarification on this as I assume it falls under the pick off rule and the definition of a "live play".  I am trying to relay to the others that have called this a steal that once the catcher steps out from behind home, takes a step towards the runner at 3rd and throws it, this has created a live play and the runner has the option to advance.  It is confusing because currently the catcher has the oportunity to get the runner out, but we are being told that we can not have a two sidded advantage and let the runner attempt to score.  So long question longer, I am asking if the ASA rules allow the runner to run home if the catcher attempts to pick them off at third and would that technically count as a steal, or does the throw to third eliminate it from a steal?  Thanks again for the help!

Answer
Tom,

This really isn't an ASA rule question as ASA doesn't have any rule stopping a girl from stealing home.  What you have here is a local rule that may be poorly written.

In the rec league in my home town, a girl can't steal home unless they are played on or a play is made at another base.  We also limit stealing to one base per pitch.

If a runner is on second and she steals third and the catcher throws the ball into the outfield, she has to stay at third.  If the runner is already on third and a play is made at another base or they try for her, she can advance.

Tom