Motivating 8 year old boy in hockey

Question
Hi, My 8 yr old son is a good hockey player yet often lacks moivation. This past season he made the novice 1 team in his first year.  It was a bit hard on him to make the jump from Tyke to Novice 1.  Even though he is a fast skater for his age, he often showed a lack of motivation during the year.  This improved towards the end of the season and our head coach said it may have taken him some time to gain his confidence.
It is now the end of the season and I was thinking of putting him into a summer league with players all his same age, where, based on him having just played with kids a year older tham him, I would expect him to excell.  However, I brought him to a practice and he showed the same lack of motivation traits he showed during the novice season.
The general expectation in his hockey asscoiation is that he should be the "go to kid next year in his second year of novice, however, I am concerned.  I have made the choice to pull him out of summer hockey and let him just enjoy the summer.  Is this the right choice?

Jeff


Answer
Good morning Jeff...

Have you asked your son - exactly what HE really really wants?  Obviously he needs to feel free to speak his heart's desire for you to really know.   Now some kids just don't know - and so as a parent we have to do your best to be patient and understanding till he "feels" the thing he really wants - for himself...  He can follow mom or dad's steps and give all he's got and be quite good - but he will never have that inner peace one needs to really really really excel and be in FULL JOY of being...  this is a tricky aspect of parenting.  So unless he can tell you exactly what he wants - you have to judge by his heart - effort in the activities he participates in.  If hockey is NOT his thing - then by all means - yes try something else...  Especially at this age - unless a child really knows and can express himself clearly and openly - then the best we can do as parents is provide him options and then unconditionally support.  If it doesn't work out - it doesn't work...  let it go - and try something else - and keep having conversations with him...  at some point it will come from his heart and you will both know.   

Note:  some kids do have it in their heart to please mom or dad...  this is difficult too - as this may have come from the very early years and not his TRUE nature...  but ride it out with him - keep talking to him and maybe letting him know that what pleases you is what pleases him!!

It's all process...  My wife and I have 3 children (17, 21 and 23) and not one was the same....  

LOVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT - and everything will be just fine!

This may be a bit more than you expected - but raising your son with love and harmony is worth every word...  hockey is a great game to play yes - he will see that THROUGH you and his friends...  if the FUN is seen - he will jump in ...  if not...  it's no big deal --  REALLY...  life is abundant.

Good luck Jeff...  feel free to ask any follow up question if you will.  I can only share my experiences and ultimately you will make your choices the best you know how.

Sincerely,

Martial