Practice great plays slow...

Question
QUESTION: Hi Martial,
My 6 year old son plays rep level hockey. He is one of the best skater on his team, practices very well but when he gets to the game he "watches". He is forward and will skate behind the centre instead of trying to help him, he will look at the play in the corner but does not go in... How do I go about teaching him that part? Some suggested "shinny" but he will just do the same mistakes is noone teaches him and we are not sure to do this...
Looking forward to have help,
Cathy

ANSWER: Hi Cathy...

My initial impression to this question is that your son is shy/timid/afraid of possibly 2 things.

1. To hurt himself
2. To mess up!

One of the most important things to have when playing hockey (or most any sport for that matter) is confidence!  Among other things confidence comes from good equipment, practice (experience), positive encouragement, and detachment to outcome!!

The first three are pretty straightforward and can be easily addressed.  i.e. 1. make sure he realizes he is protected and won't really be hurt in most situations... (you may want to simulate falls or puck/stick contact to reassure him) 2. keep focusing on improving his BASIC skills first like skating, passing, puck handling, and shooting...  shinny can help this...  or even just SOLO pond hockey play..., 3. and keep giving him positive feedback for things he does well, and only gentle loving coaching on things to improve... - because the bottom line at this stage is he must find this FUN - after all he is only 6!!)...

The last one - DETACHMENT TO OUTCOME - is probably one of the toughest to entrain - as this can go AGAINST the grain of alot of what "society" teaches!  i.e. having goals, achieving, dedication, "caring"... to point where "winning is everything"...  

But there is a delicate balance needed so as not to make these overpowering to the mind, heart and spirit one brings to the rink...  it's OK to have these, and give one's BEST EFFORT... but then there comes a point one MUST LET GO.  If your son, or any of us, have trouble with the LETTING GO after we do GIVE our BEST efforts...  then that is where FEAR and (mental) suffering comes in, and really messes with our (self) confidence!

So...  in some way - we must become aware of this and continue to improve, evolve while being open to just LETTING GO so as not to "beat our selves down" into a version of ourselves that becomes less than what we can most servingly offer!!  (I have this feeling your son is at the corssroads of what if he falls, fails, messes up...etc....  he may need some reassurance that it is JUST A GAME, etc.)

I know this may be a bit deep...  so feel free to ask any follow up questions...  but in my opinion, the sooner we can become aware of the relationship all this has on our minds, heart and spirit - the more "free" we can become to be the best version of the greatest vision we can hold of ourselves...  and ENJOY the process of LIFE!

Hope this helps!

Good luck and HAVE FUN!

Cheers

Martial



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks so much for your help!
We have read the same in sports psychology books and have seen results. We never provide any negative feedback after the game, wait in the car, focus on all the positive aspects, what has improved and the area that need improvements we tell him that "in practice" we will work on ... to make this ... part of the game better or easier...
We thought of 3 on 3 , shinny, video games with a parent that will teach him? not sure. Have you ever heard of someone being "street smart"? seems like he is lacking the "hockey smart" part... not sure, what do you think?

Answer
Sure have!  Like anything - every child is different!  Some will be Hockey Savvy, skilled with less heart, others have heart but less skills and maybe not too savvy!  

The good thing is all of these can be "worked" on for improvement.  For example in your son's case - he could begin reading hockey books for kids.   Watch hockey on TV.  Play hockey videos.  Play street hockey or shinny yes!  Actually the less "organized and structured" the better ... at this age the most important thing for motivation is that it is FUN!  Whatever you do make it fun.   Also if you and any of his role models SHOW passion for the game - HE WILL SEE THIS and copy it!

There all kinds of ways to make things FUN for our kids...  sometimes as parents we just need to relax and BE A KID right along with them eh?

Hope this helps!

Martial