Why am I playing?

Question
Hello,
My son is in his 5th year of playing tackle football, 3rd year playing for his high school. Last year the varsity lost miserably with scores like 7 to 40 something. This is his first year playing varsity, and again first two games have been lost with scores like 40 something to zero. He wants to quit, because he says he feels he is working hard for nothing. He says he is not having fun anymore. He has worked so hard and for him to quit? I don't think he should. I am not letting him quit, am I doing wrong?

Answer
Betty
Just following up.   How did your son do this week?  Is he enjoying the game any more?  Has he decided to stick with it?  I look forward to your feed back.
Best of luck.

Dear Betty,
You are 100% correct in not letting your son quit so don't for one second question yourself!  As Vince Lombardi waxed, "Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit."

Your son is very lucky to have a parent who cares so much about him, his commitments and his development not as an athlete but as a young man who will face unpleasant and difficult times in the future.  Your son joined a team and made a commitment to that team to be a member of the team and to play,  He has a distinguished honor of having made a varsity high school football team.  A feat that less than 20% of high schoolers ever achieve.

If you allow him to quit now you will be teaching him that later in life when things get tough he can quit, he can break is commitments, he can just walk away from tough times, losing times.  What he will learn through playing high school football are character building lessons that may not register with him until he is a grown man or until he has children of his own.  Life will not always present winning situations, your son is learning how to handling a losing situation and how to persevere and carry on.  He will learn how to be a good sport; a good loser and a gracious winner.

You are absolutely right - your son has worked so hard to get where he is.  If he quits he wastes all the time, sweat and tears he exhausted to get to where he is.   He is not working hard for nothing.  He is working hard to be the best player he can be, the best player e can for his team.  It is times like these that leaders are formed - your soon might just be one of those leaders.  This experience may sour him on losing so much that he may over come it and decide he never wants to lose again at anything and win at everything he does from this point forward.  The adversity of losing is the obstacle what he does in the face of this adversity is what will define him.  Don't let him become a quitter.  If he is feeling weak and wants to quit be his strength and see to it he honors this commitment.



"Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority. It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you're not a winner. Individual commitment to a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work. "

Quoting Vince Lombardi I offer these as motivation for your son: "I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."
Best of luck to you and your son.  Please let me know how his season turns out.

"Never quit. It is the easiest cop-out in the world. Set a goal and don't quit until you attain it. When you do attain it, set another goal, and don't quit until you reach it. Never quit."                                                            [Bear Bryant]


Victor Winnek
NCAA Football Official