7 yr old and basketball
Question
I have a 7 year old who had one practice class and his first game this week. Although he expressed an interest in playing and plays fairly well with his dad, he showed total dis-interest while on the court. He also seems to zone out while playing baseball. Therefore he does not show any real skills while playing in teams for baseball and basketball. My guess is that he gets a bit confused as he does not really understand the game and perhaps his personality is such that he takes a much longer time to get comfortable, adjusted enough to learn the game and show interest.
However, he shows extreme passion/interest in swimming and track. His skills in these areas are evidenced by being the best swimmer in his level and was in the papers last year for winning the race he ran. He never seems to need much encouragement to stay focused in these areas.
Question: Father insists he is the "tallest boy on the court and has athletic gifts and it is a shame and is saddened that his boy is not putting his mind into the games" I constantly respond that maybe he is just not interested at this time--maybe later, or not all tall athletic types necessarily have to play sports.
Our 7 year old's personality is non-aggressive and is extremely bright in academic and well behaved boy. Our younger 5 year old is more of a defiant personality type and does not seem to need any personal encouragement with regards "getting into the game"
It's been 3 years now that my husband shows disgust and anger he is totally unaware of towards our 7 year old's performance in baseball and now recent basketball game.
Are there any words you would be able to give to a father that does not seem to get it that this type of behavior is counter-productive and if anything could ruin any possibility for his son ever developing an interest and maybe someday play really well or maybe just not be a boy who plays these games but may be interested in other areas even though tall and physically strong and "athletically gifted" as he puts it?
Answer
Hi Anne,
Unfortunately I've seen this kind of behavior from parents before. It's more prevalent in fathers who try to re-live their own experiences as a child through their own kid's, or who feel that their child is somehow going to be their meal ticket one day if they make it big. Other times if they have a child that does not excel in the three main team sports, Baseball, Basketball, and Football, that it's somehow and embarrassment. Your husband needs to understand that there is a place in individual sports like Track, swimming, tennis, golf just as much as there is in team sports. If your son is only interested in track and swimming, and excels in them, then that's where you need to nurture and encourage him, and not push him into playing the team sports. Your husband has to understand this is about your son's happiness, not his. Once a child is forced into playing a sport they really aren't all that interested in, they begin to resent it in the future, even if they end up excelling in it. Andre Agassi is a prime example. You might try sitting down with your son and asking him point blank if he enjoys playing basketball and baseball, or would he rather stop and just run track and swim. Good Luck
becoming a scout
Out of bounds question