Poor Pitching Performance

Question
Hi,
    I had a game yesterday and I started pitching. I went 4 or 5 innings. I think I had 1 or 2 walks but no strikeouts. I gave up 13 runs in those 4 or 5 innings but our defense had 4/5 errors and many other stupid plays that caused runs to score (such as not throwing to cutoffs, holding the ball in the outfield too long, and the catcher has a terrible arm, he couldn't throw out their slowest runner even though I delivered it to the plate before he left 1st). I had 2 innings where I threw only 19 combined pitches. I feel like giving up on pitching and not worrying about that game I blew. My coach told me don't worry about it; it's the defenses fault for the runs. Should I continue pitching and not worry about that game? I got many kids to an 0-2, 1-2, and 2-2 counts but couldn't put them away with strikeouts. Most of the players on my team throw a curveball and changeup longside a 4 or 2 seam fastball. Should I work on a good curveball for the out pitch because I don't have the velocity to blow a fastball by a hitter? If so, how do I throw a good curveball? When I'm pitching I always walk the first batter in the game if I start the game because I'm afraid I'm going to hit the batter. Then the next batter I'm over it and pitch to him. How do I overcome being worried to hit the batter? Does pitching on a flat surface affect the movement on pitches? Because at home I pitch from a flat surface and my splitter moves down and my circle change moves down a little bit. In the game my splitter doesn't move as much and my circlechange I screw up. Everytime I throw my circle change in the game I throw it differently than at home; I throw it with a slow arm action and it misses high. I think I'm just self-concious that it's too slow and people will be all over it. How do I overcome this and just pitch to the batter without worrying about the pitch being too slow?
Sorry for all the questions
Thanks, Ray

Answer
Hey there Ray-
Sounds like you had a tough game. I've been there before. Pitching is a very difficult thing because we get blamed for losing the game when baseball is team sport and the responsibility should fall on everyone.
How many of the 13 runs were actually earned runs? There's a big difference!
I would encourage you to continue pitching IF you truly love doing it. If it feels like a chore or punishment then grab a bat.
It sounds like you do like it because your practicing at home and trying new pitches.
you should definitely learn a breaking pitch if you're getting 2 strikes and not putting them away. Check out my website www.ProPitchingOnline.com for some curveball and slider grips.
They ball does act differently on flat surfaces. the difference is that your front foot lands sooner when throwing on Flat ground. This affects your timing when you get on the mound.
As far as being worried about hitting batters, I've found  that most hitters don't want to get hit. they are usually pretty good about getting out the way. If you hit them, "oh Well!" its just part of the game. If anything, it will scare the next guy and he won't take as good of a swing.
Change-ups have to be thrown with the intent of a fastball. What I mean is that you have to try and "throw it by them".  If you try and throw it slower it won't work. Next time you throw a change, Remind yourself that the hitter has no idea that the pitch is coming.
The other thing about change-ups is that they are only effective in certain counts. 1-0, 1-1, 2-0, 2-1 are your best bets or after any fastball you throw for a ball. the hitter has to be guessing that a fastball is coming.
good luck ray, and try and have some fun out there.

Jon