Feigned injury

Question
My son (10 years old) was the starting pitcher on his All Star team earlier this evening.  He was also the clean-up hitter.  After striking out in the top of the first, but being nonetheless staked to a four run lead, he took the mound.  After walking the first batter, getting a ground out on the second and suffering a shortstop error on the third batter, he complained of a sore arm and was moved to centerfield.

Here's the rub.  He was not hurt.  Essentially, he buckled under the pressure.  I am not a hard-charging father, but I do know my kid.  He was throwing bullets from the outfield later in the game and in-between innings.  

My question - how should we (his parents) respond to his "quitting" on the mound?  It strikes me that we can (1) ignore it (and perhaps lose a real learning moment or (2) find some way to turn the meltdown into a positive learning experience for him (and for us).  Not sure how I accomplish number (2).  I do not want to give up, but this event, coupled with a couple of other situations (often, if he has a poor at bat, he pitches poorly.  Conversely, a good at bat immediately prior to taking the mound typically results in quality pitching), have me thinking that we should just keep him from pitching.  This would be unfortunate since he has real talent (and shows it when there is no pressure (in practice, etc.)

Also, how can we best get him to forget about his last at bat and focus on the pitching in the scenarios I described above?

Answer
Mark,

This is tough for a 10 year old and a 10 year old's dad!!! It is very few kids that have the capacities to "let it go" and focus at the task at hand.  My son was a natural at it and it is why he is such a good pitcher. But let's face it, your boy is only 10.  It is natural to "carry" a strikeout back out to the mound.  But I agree, "faking an injury" is not cool.  It does equate to quitting on himself, his team and his coaches.  So a lesson should be learned here.

My suggestion is to not directly accuse him of faking an injury.  In fact, you may want to discuss having him checked out by a doctor.  His response will probably be a no and he is now fine.  

As for the lesson, the lesson has to be the same for all baseball players.  Baseball, in all of it's greatness, is a game of failure.  That is right, a game of failure.  While a 10 year old "stud" may be able to hit .700, there are few to no high schoolers that will hit .500, no college players will hit .500 and no professionals will touch .400.  In the MLB, if you hit .300, you are great!  That actually means that you fail 7 out of every 10 at bats.  I am sure that if your 10 year old failed 7 out of every 10 at bats, he would be crying and you would be frustrated.  But a guy getting paid $5 mil/year thinks failing 7 out of 10 at bats will get him an even bigger contract!!!

Get my point?  Failure is inevitable in baseball.  Whether pitching, hitting, fielding or what. You cannot always do the job the best or win every game.  In football, teams can go undefeated.  In Basketball, teams win 80% of their games.  In Baseball, a winning percentage of .600 is great and a .500 season is pretty good!!!!

The difference between a good ballplayer and a great ballplayer can come down to how he deals with the failures.  I don't have to even talk about it with my son.  We have discussed this very fact about baseball. If he strikes out with the bases loaded to end an inning, he is not happy.  He is rather upset.  However, when he takes off his batting gloves, the at bat and the strikeout are over. He now has another job to do.  The great thing about baseball is you are only as good as your next pitch, your next swing, your next fielding opportunity...but there is always a next opportunity.  

I have always told my kids, and I hate to lose any games, but the great thing about baseball is...there will be another game tomorrow!!!!

Your son has to learn the eternal lesson of failure and next opportunity. Take advantage of the next opportunity with excitement and positive energy.  You cannot drag your last at bat with you onto the field or into the next at bat. The last at bat or last pitch is over, there is nothing that can be done.  All you can do is work harder to get better and more consistent (baseball is a game of repetition and consistency). That way you will avoid the bad things as much as possible.

I would definitely not chastise or blame him, but I would talk about his meltdown.  Talk about how he let the situation overcome him and he lost his focus.  I like to use a word that sparks focus in players like "focus" or "reset" or "bear down".  My point is that this word should key them to step back, take a breath and focus on the task at hand, present-time-consciousness.  Don't think about the past, even if it was 10 seconds ago, only focus on now and the situation at hand.  It works!!

Good luck,

Coach Boss