Encouraging my son

Question
I have a 7-year-old son who has played baseball for the last two years. He started out in T-ball and is in his second year of machine pitch. He is a good player and usually plays 2nd or third base. He starts out the season wanting to play and so we sign him up, however, by the middle of the season, he says that he does not want to go to practice or the games. His dad and I try to get him to play catch with us on the weekends for fun, but he does not want to, and when he does, he just wants to practice hitting. He does not want to practice fielding. We talk to him about completing what he started at the beginning of the season. I understand that he is tired at the end of the school day. Should we sign him up for another season, knowing that his interest could wane by mid season? He tends to be a timid child in most settings, and is reluctant to try new things, especially anything that is competitive. He would rather watch tv or play his game boy.

Answer
Hello Christi and thank you for asking this question.

It sounds like this is a multi-part problem - confidence, motivation and focus.  I help children with this a lot, in both sports and school.  Here are some suggestions.  For the hitting vs fielding, I'd suggest using a variation of "Grandma's Law - You do what I want, than you can do what you want."  Except with your son, alternate hitting and fielding.  Start three hits and one catch, than go to two hits and one catch, than one hit and one catch, than two catches and one hit, etc.  Make it REALLY FUN and encouraging.  Young children are really impressionable and open to suggestion - both positive and negative.  Make it really positive.  If children feel over pressured, than they often start avoiding what's causing them pressure, which can develop into a pattern of behavior.  

You could institute a reward for going to practice or games.  A reward could be "parent fun time" or something else he likes.  The goal is to help your son associate practices and games with fun.  If they are NOT fun, then find out why.  Is there too much pressure from the coaches, are team members behaving in a way that is causing your child anxiety, worry or fear?  Is he, or has he, had bad experiences related to competition?  If you find out that's the case, then I could give you some suggestions to help overcome that.

It sounds like doing things to help build your child's confidence could have far-reaching positive effects.  I usually suggest parents set up their children for success - find something you KNOW they will succeed at (even something little), and praise them when they succeed.  This builds an expectation of success and increased confidence in your child.

Regards signing him up for another season, that's your call.  I hope my comments helped with your decision.

Good luck and let me know how it goes.

David

David Kenward, The Mental Coach
Sacramento, California
http://www.thementalcoach.com