coaching issue

Question
I am a first time coach of 9-10 year olds.  My son, who will soon be 11, has played ball now for 6 years. I am having a problem with a number of kids that goof off on the field and in the dugout, won't listen to our instructions during the game, etc.  Not only do I worry about them getting hurt by their lack of attention, but it is also affecting how the game goes.  Last night, we had in two innings, a runner on third base, base coach told them to run and steal home on a wild pitch but instead they TROT only halfway, give up and TROT back to the base. This happened four times in a row with one player in one inning, four chances to steal home, and I ended up having to yell at him from coaching first base, to make up his mind.  I am tired of yelling at the kids on the field to pay attention, so last night I finally benched one of them, (he had been warned several times already)for playing with the grass while a ground ball goes two feet beside him and the right fielder had to go and get it. Batter got home on that one.  Problem was that when I sent him out two innings later, I had to bench him again for doing the same thing, only he was playing shortstop this time, and it was playing with the dirt now.  How do we get these kids to listen and pay attention, and how do I get the parents to help us out with this?  It seems that no matter what I or the assistant coach do, we can't seem to win in this situation.  We have talked to some of the parents, and they say oh yeah, I know what little Johnny is like and then they walk away, leaving us to discipline their children.  I am sure other coaches have had these sorts of problems, I want to be a good coach, I don't want to be the kind of coach the kids hate, but I am afraid that is how this season will go.  Any guidance you can give would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks for letting me vent as well.

Answer
This is a common issue (although there's not usually a whole team of this type of kid -- it's usually just one or two). You did the right thing in benching -- that's precisely what I would have suggested. The only other thing I would suggest for the team's benefit is when you put that same kid back in the game to get his minimum number of innings, don't put him in a key position like shortstop! Stick him out in right field, where playing in the grass won't be nearly so damaging.

Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do if the kids aren't disciplined (not your job to be their parent). All you can do is coach, and if they won't listen, then the team is going to have a lousy season. Yes, there's a certain amount of yelling necessary -- so long as it is balanced with praise when the kids do something positive. They will respect that type of coaching, even if it doesn't seem so now. Hopefully you don't have a roster of kids who would rather be playing soccer....

Also remember that kids at that age get bored rather easily, so there's going to be a certain amount of inattention no matter what you do. For your fielders, this could be especially true if, for instance, you have a pitcher that can't throw strikes. It's also important to note that winning -- although preferable -- isn't necessarily as important to these young players as you might think. Try an experiment....after the next losing game, invite the kids out for a team ice cream. I'd be willing to bet the memory of the loss won't even last the car ride on the way to the ice cream shop. Plus, it will build camaraderie amongst the players. Just a thought.