HS Baseball Coaches

Question
My son is a sophomore in HS. Played JV as a Freshman and back this year as a 10th grader. Easily made the team, above average skill and ability. Nice polite quiet kid, baseball is only sport.
Coach is playing head games with numerous players, including him. Pulled him from starting role in game one, and quickly put him back after the defensive performance by the other player. Was batting .350 until a recent slump (coincides when the coach started his head games). Has been making embarrassing statements in front of whole team how his hitting stinks.  Used DH for him last game and let him hit in the last inning, of course he flied out during that at bat. Criticized swing in front of team, when there are a number of real hackers who look like they are chopping wood when they bat. (Nothing wrong with swing he hits the ball hard everytime up and works with a premier hitting instructor). Number 5 hitter has one hit this season. There is no rhyme or reason for the coach's treatment of my son, other than he is also the football coach and my son doesn't play football, (the only starter that doesn't). Coaches made it clear that parents nor players can approach the coaches without fear of reprisal, regarding playing decisions.
He has two more years in the program and it breaks our hearts to see him treated this way. If he or we speak up, the fear is playing time will be cut further. Would really appreciate some words of wisdom...

Answer
hi bob
this is not an easy situation for an outsider to talk about.
you care/love your son and want the best for him, i know that.

here is what i suggest.
1. have your son set up a time to talk privately to the coach.
the issues that your son wants to discuss are these:
a. the comments that are made about the swing
b. criteria for playing--what is the criteria that coach bases decisions on?
c. you son needs to make it clear that he wants to be a team guy first and improve--what specific things does the coach want your son to do to improve

2. discuss with your son the results of the meeting--how sincere he felt the coach was at the meeting
is your son ok with the outcome. does he feel comfortable with the coach and his response.

3. this is an outstanding way for your son to learn the true value of sports. sometimes, things don't work the way we want. this happens in all phases of life. use this as an opportunity for growth that most people just let go by. trust me, if you handle this the proper way, your son will grow because of the situation. i know, it is not what you want, but it is the hand you are being dealt. deal with it in a way that is the best for your son.

4. when the season is over, if things don't improve, ask for a meeting with the coach--not about playing time but how the coach motivates his players--(the negative comments made in front of the other kids). let him know that there might be a different way if he would consider it. but don't make this about playing time--that is his call.

hope this helps. if you want to talk direct to me call 314 531-0330 ext 133. i have coached for 31 years and have raised 4 kids. i have been on both sides of these issues. feel free to call.
steve