12 year old pitcher - frustrating last game

Question
Hello. My son has been pitching in both rec and travel ball since he was 8years old. He is now 12 (almost 13).As a left handed pitcher, he is often picked and admired by coaches and parents alike. He just completed his first middle school baseball season. He was the starting pitcher for most games. If he wasn't starting, he was closing. We have invested both time and money for him to develop his natural skill with the use of a pitching coach. Great guy , who offers instruction on both mechanics and the mental state of the game. This has brought our son to a whole new level in his abilities. Able to execute cutters, fastballs and breaking balls with ease and confidence. He threw a one -hitter! Once he walked off the mound * with no runs in* with this scenario:  No outs, bases loaded and tied score. All seems good. Now for the problem....when he doesn't execute such marvels- ie.. he is having a "bad day".. and the team looses.. he takes FULL responsibility on the loss. He blames himself for not "having done better". For "letting in so many runs". A wild pitch that cost a run. A batter that hit a drive line down the third base line who let in 3 runs... two walks.. He expresses that he is not a good pitcher. Such negativity can and will bring him down ! I try to compose and support his emotional reaction.. but to no avail. I ask of you some insightful words that I (as a parent) could say. I did tell him that " if you think you are a bad pitcher.. then you may become a bad pitcher!" Thank you.

Answer
Donnalinda,

Pitching is not an easy thing for anyone to do. It is one of the only positions in sports where the result of the play is based on your action. Nothing feels worse then a hitter squaring up a fastball and hitting a rocket.

That being said, baseball would not be a game if pitchers didn't fail sometimes. Allowing a few hits or even 2-3 runs a game is considered a quality start.

It is hard for young kids to accept that in a game, we will fail and succeed. Pitchers have bad days. I have my days where I can hit every spot, and some where its a battle.

There are no real words of wisdom for a kid, just be supportive. Keep enforcing that although he may have some negatives in a game, he has positives too.

Have him watch as many major league games as possible so he can see the best in the world struggle sometimes. For instance, the other night one of the games best, Johan Santa allowed ten runs on four home runs. We will all fail, otherwise it would just be who got 27 outs in the best time.

Keep being his biggest fan,
Sean