A broken heart

Question
Our team is an 11-12 Travel team.  We have one player who has sat on the bench for most of the 6 games that we have played so far with maybe playing a total of 5 innings ( he does not bat unless he plays the field).  My heart breaks for this player and his parents because my own son went through this several years ago.  My question is: is there anything I can do or say to help the parents that I sit with game after game to make them feel better.  I know from experience that another parent just saying "your son is a good player and should be playing" don't make you feel that much better.  Would I be overstepping my business if I talked to the coach about it.  I fear that if I say something my son will be benched for the remainder of the year for sticking my nose in where it didn't belong.  But when my son was in that position I wished someone would have stuck their neck out for him.  It just breaks my heart to see him sitting there and I see the tears in his mothers eyes. Thank you for any insight you can give

Answer
Deb:  Thank you for your question.

You have described what is a hard situation to work through, both for the player involved and his parents.

I would suggest, if someone is going to speak to the coach, it should first be the player.  The coach should be more than willing to explain what he feels that players role is, at this time, on that team.  He can also provide his input as to what areas he feels the player could be working on, in order to obtain more playing time.  

Possibly he is playing behind the best player on the team or in the league, at the position he currently plays.  He might benefit from learning a different position, which will increase his options for playing time.  That said, it will take time to get there and may be something he looks at for the next season; but something I would recommend for all players as they move through the levels in baseball.  The more varied your skill set, the more options you have for game time.

I don't have any experience with travel teams, other than most of our high school players have played on some, and I don't know the politics of your league.  When you said you were afraid your son might get benched if you spoke with the coach, it appears that you don't feel there is an welcoming atmosphere between parents and the coach.  That is unfortunate.  The players should feel they can talk with the coach, and so should the parents.

If the player has no success with his questions, the next step would be the players parents.  Again, the coach should be willing to let them know what he feels needs to be accomplished for their son to get additional playing time.

From a high school standpoint, which is my experience, most all coaches at that level are unwilling to discuss playing time.  More than willing to discuss what their assessment is of the players ability at this point, and what could be worked on as they move forward, which could provide the player additional opportunities to play.

At age 11-12, baseball is more about development of fundamental skills, and learning how to play the game.  Winning should just be a pleasant by product of doing things the right way.  Not always reality however.

While it is very hard to see from the players vantage point on the bench, the game and the players are, and will be constantly evolving season to season.  Due to the vast differences in kids physical and emotional developments, new players become added to the mix, many players who dominate and are labeled as stars stop playing, or have actually peaked out.  One thing you can count on is that things just don't stay the same.

I hope this will help some!

Yours in baseball,

Rick