afraid of ball / problem with FAA committee

Question
My 9 yr old was a great hitter for the first two seasons with the pitching machine, got at least one hit in every game. This year, the kids self pitch (8-9 yr olds have a zilch accuracy rate, personally I think they should be on the machine for at least another year- but that's another story)and and of course he got hit and is now scared of the ball. He does great at batting practice, and the adults' pitching to him, and they actually throw throw it, no lobbing it in. We tried wiffle balls, lima beans and sticks, buckets, bat on the ground, and was making jokes #maybe?# about staking a pair of old shoes to the ground #desperate times and all that#. Anyway,the final solution was to have the kids at practice line up inside the mound and throw tennis balls in for him to hit. He was not really happy about, however, once he realized they couldn't hurt him, he got to hit it, and has been doing fine ever since! After he got his first hit in a game, he even came home and told me, "I forgot how much fun it was to get a hit!". Nice to see him enjoying himself again, cuz that's what it's all about!!
After some time reading on this site, all these methods seem to be pretty heavily recommended and standard procedure, ok, not the one about the shoes, but we didn't actually do that one.
So, here's my question:
We had a pool team this year and took any of the kids who registered to play and didn't have a team. Needless to say,we got a handful who rarely come to practice #4 to 7 out of 16sessions# and make about half the games. Well, we had 14 kids so it always worked out to have enough to play. One of said parents decided on a day that everyone showed up to have a fit his son had to sit out 3 innings #we had 5 on the bench for every inning#. This man continued to fill every stereotype bad parent move you can think of. His next move was to go to school website and start an e-mail campaign against the coach and stir any other parent whose kid was benched and got the handful who don't show to complain too and they used the tennis ball episode as and excuse to fire the coach. I have a huge problem with this. There was of course, no mention of the times we only had 8 or 9 kids for a game and nobody got a break, kids couldn't even go to the bathroom, we only had one kid that could catch, most of the kids hate it, and you can imagine how the pitching went downhill. The rest of us parents were perfectly happy with the coach and want some ideas on how to handle the league committee without sounding like the 1st bunch, however, I expect to be heard. I think it's ridiculous that an episode for my son was used against a good coach #and what does this do to his reputation?#  and no one bothered to ask ME about it. None of the other parents on the team were consulted to see if we were happy and we're the bunch that has been there for years. We are also the bunch that didn't want to quit since it's not fair to the kids, and we're the ones still trying to keep things moving in the right direction. None of these people had enough sense to figure out where team equipment is going to come from or the fact that now we lost our practice field; so now for the rest of the season, we are not even having practice and you can guess who voted for that.Please tell me the best way to approach the committee members. One is specifically in charge of coaching, or should we do an open letter to all the committee members. Whatever thoughts you have I would sure appreciate you sharing them with us.
Donna Guiffrida

Answer
Hi Donna,

what a hornet's nest you have in your hands.  

But first:
I am glad your child is getting over the fear of being hit.  It's normal and almost every child goes through this.  It also looks like the coach went above and beyond to help those kids overcome this fear.  There are so many techniques available and clearly, the coach has used the best methods from what I can tell.  I know it's hard for a parent to watch when their child is going thru this process but I can assure you it will be only a memory in no time.  

Children have to learn how to pitch and this is the usual age to start.  Likewise, the kids need to learn how to bat from an inconsistent pitcher and, again, this is the right age to start.  The pitches are not as hard from this age although I know it could 'smart' when you are hit.  Every year after this, the pitching becomes stronger and more accurate.

Now onto the hornet's nest:

I am sorry to read that you are having such troubles with parents.  I also feel for the coach and I hope the coach does not become too discouraged and leave.  

Each year, I would talk to the parents and tell them two simple and easy to remember rules that they must agree with:

1.  On my side of the fence, I set the rules. Period.  You don't like it, go to the association (committee).  Don't chase me in the field with complaints or I won't coach your child.

2.  Players have to contribute to the team.  This includes showing up to practice, helping their teammates, respecting the rules of baseball, their opponents and the umpires.  

I've had kids from all walks of life, from boys homes to kids from 'good' homes and ALL have to agree to these two simply rules.  Almost always, the problems I've had are from the parents. The kids just want to play, it's the parents who can't accept the rules.  Ironic.

In your case, I agree with you that it's not fair to have some kids not come out to practices, not contribute fully to the team and then expect all the rewards of playing.  Baseball is not like a computer game where everyone is a star, it requires hard work, training, and a commitment to the team.  Parents should realize that this is the foundation of how things are in life - working together to achieve success.

I don't like 'beating my chest' but I've carried 15 players and it's not easy.  I had two good assistant coaches and our hands were full.  We all agree that every child should be allowed to play BUT they have to commit to the team.  I think this can be applied to all ages after 7 years.  Baseball is a TEAM sport and everyone has to contribute for the best of the team, even parents.

Parents should understand this most of all.  We coaches are volunteers, we are not paid.  We take the time to become certified, attend annual coaching clinics, form practices and games.  We are there for their children and we so enjoy the game that we want to pass this on to the next generation.

And yet, a parent once said to me, "you're an easy target: you're the tallest on the field".

Youth baseball has no place for belligerent, hostile even violent behaviour.  It's not tolerated from players so why then is it allowed by parents?  We coaches have had our fill of parents who have tried to control the game from the stands.  That's where the baseball association should have rules 'with teeth' to deal with parents like this.  

Any parent who makes a coach's job more difficult should be given only one (1) warning to stop.  The 2nd incident will result in their child not be allowed to play for the season.  Period.
A very clear rule that must be agreed to BEFORE the season starts and BEFORE registration.

IF parents don't like the rules they should be allowed to raise their complaints with the association (committee in your case) and not make coaches the easy target for parents like the one you mention.  I've seen good coaches leave the sport because some parents are just too ignorant to respect the rules - that and the association did nothing to help those coaches.  

This is clearly a problem for the association not the coach.  They must set clear rules - no parent can argue with a coach.  Period.  IF they have a complaint, raise it with the association.  Any infraction of this rule will come with one (1) warning, afterwards the children of this parent can no longer play for the season.  

That's were the AGM (annual general meeting) becomes important.  A rule similar to this should exist within the association, if it does not, request to have one voted into place.  No parent should be allowed to do what you have described.  Some feel that they paid for the activity so they are entitled to do as they please and ignore the rules.  Sadly, these parents give the sport a bad reputation and, if allowed, the consequences are often coaches quit, fewer volunteers and lower quality of the sport.

Good luck with this,
JohnMc