Follow-up

Question
John just wanted you to know that we have had enough.  My son had a game Wednesday at that was the bust.  The head coach did not show up until 25 minutes later with his son.  Needless to say When he showed my son was sent in the dugout and his son was outfield which he normally plays first base.  This time he remained in the dugout for the rest of the entire game.  He only played one ending.  He was totally ignored.  I have no idea why this has happened.  And to top it all off the coaches wife got in a confrontation with my mother that was just talking to my son in the dugout. In front of everybody especially my son.  Totally disrespectful.  I was shocked!  I have had enough, and do not want to send my son to any more games.  He asked me can we leave when he sits in the dugout, Help what should I do?  Thanks for listening Amy

Answer
Hi Amy.

Your situation is sad.  I'm at a loss for words with this coach and his decision making.  

How did you come to join this baseball team?  There must be someone who is responsible for the team besides the coach?  Usually, a baseball association, school or community recreation center governs what goes on in these activities.

You'll have to find the persons responsible and voice your concerns with them.  IF they play in a larger association, Little League, Babe Ruth League, Dixie League...then you have even more avenues and options to help your son.

As for the coaches wife...oh boy...there seems to be a time when a line is crossed and things become "personal".  I don't know the full story here but it is clear that emotions are running high.  It's best that you keep your cool (dignity) and simply leave.

I have seen this sort of thing up close and first hand. It is not a healthy environment for children.  My advice would be to stop going to baseball.  After the confrontation with the coach's wife, things may escalate and your child is right in the middle of this.  Its not worth it since it is only a game.

Just get your money back and find out what other sport your son may be interested in.  Does not sound like he wants to play baseball...at least not with this coach.

I cannot say that your experience is uncommon.  I feel that this is the dark side of organized sports for children. Few organizations have stood up to this behaviour and so it is allowed to infect childrens sports.  No sport is immune.

My advice to you is to keep your dignity and leave.  You seem to be an intelligent and concerned parent and I know you will make the right decision.  I usually am the first to stand up to injustice BUT when a child is right in the middle and can become hurt (emotionally), nothing is worth this.  

I'm driving down to Florida next month and will be discussing this topic with other sport organizers.  Its a disgusting part of every sport that has to be stopped.  Unfortunately, most children's sport organizers won't admit that it exists...it scares away the parents (and fees$$$).  

I wish you luck, Amy.  Write back if you need more advice.  

JohnMc