Nervousness

Question
When I play in rec leagues and am in the field I don't get nervous. When I played for my school team, I was nervous and made errors in the field. I can make the play during practice but when it comes to the game I get nervous. I think I am nervous because the team represents the school; in rec the game represents fun and learning. I don't know how to get over being nervous so that I can play to my full potential. Do you know any way to break nervousness?

Thanks, Ray

Answer
Ray,

I don't know what age you are or what level you play at, but I will offer you my own thoughts.  I spent a lot of my high school years wondering why I was "nervous" just like you do.

There is a lot going on in our minds when we play baseball.  Now, I am not a psychologist or a counselor, but I know all about the tricks your mind can play on you in baseball.  What I can do here is to tell you how it was for me, and I hope that you can learn from my experience.  If it seems like I am a nerdy type coach here--telling you all about my feelings and all--hey, we all have them, we just don't talk about them.  I am a pretty big guy and I also played college football and other sports.  I only tell you this so you know I am not Mr. Rogers talking about my feelings or some wishy-washy guy.  And I doubt that you are either.  Hopefully I am someone whose experience you might relate to.  You are a baseball player and you must be a great athlete to make the baseball team in the first place.  Remember that.

I had feelings the same as you express.  I played rec and summer and school ball.  Playing in school was hardest for me because it seemed like that was what really "counted."  High school girls might have been watching.  My father and mother might be watching.  My brothers.  It might be in the school newspaper.  My stats would be on the bulletin board in the gym.  Playing in school, there is definitely a little more pressure.  But it is always how we react to the pressure that will matter.  (This is true in life, in work, in relationships too, not just in baseball.)  And baseball, like many sports, is very much a game of reaction.  Good ballplayers, after making an out, might have learned that they attacked the wrong pitch.  Or, they might sulk and be angry and make the same mistake twice.  Or, they might use what happened to fool the pitcher next at-bat.  "He thinks I can't hit his curveball...he's going to throw me another curveball."  We think as we go.  But you shouldn't think too much.  In the big picture, it sounds like when you are loose and having fun (rec league) you perform well.  So you have to find a way to loosen up.  Albert Pujols is about a .333 hitter.  That means he gets about 333 hits out of 1000 at-bats.  That also means that in between the hits, he made 667 outs.  Think about that: he failed more than he succeeded.  He must react well after he makes his outs.  He must not think too much about the outs he makes.  Probably because he just expects to get his hit in the next time up, or the time after that.  And, for years, he does this.  All baseball players have to learn to take an out, learn a little something, and then forget all about the out.

Whether you are in the rec league or in school, it is the same size ball and it is still you playing baseball right?  The thing that is different is how you are feeling about the game when you are at school.  What does the game mean to you when you are playing on the school team?  You must be a very good player to be on the school team.  Make sure you remember that.  When you play in the rec league, you are just having fun, right?  You are in a different frame of mind.  Fun time.  In school, there is more pressure and it seems that this is where it "counts."

I was also a very nervous player.  I was a fast guy--very fast, but also very quick to swing at bad pitches.  I swung too early.  I was very nervous all through school and I didn't do very well at bat.  In the field, I felt being nervous might have helped me.  I ran after fly balls like a scared rabbit.  Nervous energy can make you faster to act.  In baseball, especially at bat, that can really hurt you.  I had the fastest bat and fastest, best swing on my teams, but I struck out a LOT--more than anyone.  Too early.  Too nervous.  It meant so much to me to do well and I got so fired up about the whole game--especially the school games.  I played much more baseball in college and even in 30-and-over mens leagues.  I became very patient and confident later in life because it didn't mean so much to me.  I just learned to relax a little.  I looked back at a lot of years of school ball and I wondered what I forgot to do, or what was wrong and I will tell you what I now believe, because I did find the answer--at least for me:

It's not about being afraid to fail.  Are you really afraid to make an error or strikeout?  I wasn't.  I mean, I didn't want to fail all the time, but I wasn't afraid of it...it's a little deeper than this...

It can be that you are a little afraid to succeed.  There is often one kid--maybe a coaches' son or just the kid who was the best all through little league...that kid has no problems.  He doesn't get nervous.  You know why?  He knows that you all expect him to be good.  Do you expect the best guy to be good?  Of course you do.  Everyone does.  If he hits a triple, everyone knew he could do it.

For me, I was a little shy, but I knew I was good.  In fact I knew I was very good--maybe as good as the kid everyone knows is the best.  But there was a trick my mind played on me: deep down inside, I didn't feel that I deserved to be the best player on the team.  I didn't feel that I should be the hero.  I felt that if I did get some heroic hit, it would be a surprise.  I didn't tell myself that I deserve it.

When I got older, I realized that I deserve things as much as anyone else.  I deserve a good job.  I have a great family and a great wife.  I realize now that I deserved these things.  When I returned to baseball at 30 years old, I was a great player. I went up to bat in a strange league, not knowing anyone.  I told myself, "I deserve to hit a few homers here."  And I did bop some homers.  I hit the ball all the time.  I expected, always, to do it.  I had a lot more fun and I feel a lot better about myself.  Turns out, a lot of the guys I played against were minor leaguers and really accomplished players.  I just looked at them as dudes, same as me.  I got a lot of hits off really good pitchers because I feel, "why not me?  why shouldn't it be me to get the first hit?"  It only takes one pitch anyway.  

One thing I changed too: I don't take a lot of pitches.  Makes me think too much.  I want to get my three swings if I need them.  That way, if I struck out because I missed three swings, well, at least I went down after three good tries.  If you have trouble at bat, ask your coach if it is okay if you start swinging at the first strike.  A lot of coaches want you to take the first strike--it's good baseball--but if it helps you relax to get a free easy swing at that first one, do it!  Don't think too much!  When you relax more, you can be more selective (but DON'T go against what your coach tells you.  Different coaches have different opinions, and it also depends on the game situation.)

Anyway, getting back to the golden rule here:

RAY, YOU DESERVE TO BE A GREAT PLAYER.

Take this lesson into life with you.  When you see a girl at a dance, someone is going to ask her to dance...she wants to dance with someone...why not you?  When you go on a job interview, half the battle is showing the employer, "I can do the job, why not me?"

Why not you?  This is truly the simple question to ask yourself.  The answer is, yes, exactly!  Ask yourself, tell yourself, under pressure, why not me?  I deserve this.

Someone is going to get a big hit in almost every game.  Why not you?  You deserve it.  Tell yourself that you deserve to be the hero and see what happens.  After you start hitting a little, the whole team will expect all your hits.  Don't be surprised at how good you are.  YOU ARE GOOD.  EXPECT TO BE GOOD.  EXPECT TO BE THE MAN OUT THERE AND YOU ARE.

I don't think people get what they deserve in life...I think they get what they BELIEVE they deserve.  So tell yourself, always, that you deserve the best things in baseball and in life, and you will have a shot at the best of everything just as anybody does.

If you go to the U.S. Naval Academy, in the wrestling room, the walls say, in huge letters:

"IF NOT YOU, WHO?  IF NOT NOW, WHEN?"  That is something that inspires the NAVY and the soldiers in our military.

KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE THE ONE HAVING FUN OUT THERE ON THE BASEBALL FIELD.  YOU DESERVE SUCCESS.  WITH SUCCESS COMES CONFIDENCE AND MORE SUCCESS.

Success is an experience.  You don't have confidence first, then have success...you have success, and the confidence builds.  Don't worry about being nervous.  All it means is that you really care and that it really matters to you.  Someday you will look back, and you'll see that it's all just a fun game.  Grown men play and then we laugh and drink beer afterward.  We laugh and tease each other about strikeouts and errors.  I strikeout the most and I get picked on the most.  I also laugh the most, because I know how good I am.  I also hit the most homers (not bad for a once-nervous kid.)

I am at work, just trying to write as much as I can for you.  Hope this helps.  I really do know what you are talking about.  Reading all of this is good, but don't think too hard.  Just keep telling yourself that you deserve to do well.  You deserve to be the best as much as any kid who steps up to bat.