Fear of being hit...more than normal.

Question
QUESTION: My son was hit by a couple of baseballs and now we can't get him up to the plate. He would rather sit out and not play. He is 8 (almost 9) and has lived for baseball for years. He can hit almost anything if he tries. His hand eye coordination is amazing. This last weekend we got him in the batters box 3 times and all 3 times after about 2 pitches he took off his helmet, threw the bat down and walk off and made his team take an out for him. I have tried everything you can think of to try and get him just to stand in the batters box and back out when the pitcher throws the ball. He wont even do this. Like I said..baseball has been all my son has lived for the past 5 yrs and now he wants to "end his career" (lol). I don't know how to help him and teach him he needs to keep trying. I don't want him to quit and let his team down but it's not fair to them either way. Got any ideas. Thanks.
ANSWER: Lori,

This sounds like a very tough one.  Understand that you cannot allow the behavior of throwing the bat and walking off and costing his teammates an out.  It has to be known that the commitment to the team and his teammates is bigger than his own personal feelings...even at 8.  

I had a similar incident just last night with my 7 year old daughter.  She had a softball game, coach pitch, where she is hitting and fielding very well.  She had hurt her back a bit on the trampoline on Sunday.  I was unable to be at the game on time because of another commitment.  When I showed up in the 3rd inning, she was sitting in the bleachers with my wife!!!!!!  She said her back was hurting.  Now I know that she is a 7 year old little girl playing a very unimportant in the grand scheme of things softball game, but the point is that she made a commitment to a group of people, players and coaches to play.  While her back hurts a little, it was not of the degree that she could not play.  She started the game and had a hit in her only at bat.  I had a brief, yet threatening discussion with her and she re-entered the game in the last inning.  She also apologized to her coach.  

My point: even at a young age, a lesson has to be learned and gained from this.

Now, the other side is that he sounds like he is genuinely afraid right now.  You just cannot reward the behavior by giving him his way.  He is part of the team and he needs to be a part of the team, even if that means going and just sitting on the bench.  

What he needs to know is that getting hit is part of the game.  With any sport, there is some potential risk and pain.  My son, a freshman, led his high school team this year with 11 hit by pitches.  He wears an elbow guard like Craig Biggio to protect his arm and with that, he simply won't get out of the way.  The reason, getting hit is a free pass on base. The name of the game is getting on base.

Let your son know that he has helped the team by getting on base.  Then throw him some batting practice using tennis balls. Set a bat bag behind him so that he cannot bail out, the bag is stepped on if he does and gives instant feedback.  If he gets hit with the tennis ball in practice, it doesn't hurt.  Get him an elbow guard like the pros wear, like my son wears.   These are steps that have worked in the past for this issue.

Above all, if he loves baseball, he cannot quit.  Quitting is not acceptable, not in baseball and not in life.  If you allow him to quit now, then what is next.

Encourage, practice with the tennis balls, get up his confidence, but he has to know that getting hit is just a part of the game. There are things that, even at 8, we just have to endure.  I think that with some love and support, he will get through this one.  

Coach Boss

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: One more thing...should he get to play in the field if he doesn't hit? Is he winning if he just sits and watches when this is what he wants? I feel like we lose no matter what. He doesn't seem to care that this effects his team. How do you teach this lesson.  

Answer
This is a tough situation.  If he is truly afraid and it is moving into an emotional stress on him, then you have to address that in a more delicate way.

But if he is just a personality that is hard headed and trying to prove his point, then you have to get him where it will hurt.  Such as taking away or restricting him from something he loves to do.  This is just to teach the bigger lesson of commitment.

Again, if this is a huge psychological stressor for him and he is losing sleep for example, then it is a special circumstance.  But if he is doing this just because he really doesn't want to play any more or doesn't care about the team, then it is early to bed, no video games, or whatever for an extended period of time until he honors his commitment.

AS far as making him play the field, as a coach, if a player is not going to give me the effort my team deserves, I don't want him out there at all.  He can run while we are playing, but I don't want him on my field hurting the rest of my team.  You know what I mean!

Good luck,

Coach Boss