Disappointment?

Question
QUESTION: Mike,

I am at a loss.  I currently coach my 7 year old son in the 7-8 coach pitch league and I have coached him team for the last 4 years at the different levels.  

We just had an opening weekend and at the end we were 0-2.  It is fine with me because at this age it is about having fun and learning baseball. My father coached me growing up and that is something I learned from him.  

What is hard is telling the kids after the game that they tried hard, made some good plays, and they continued to do the best that they can.  Yet, you could see it in their faces that they did not care, because they lost one game 16-3 and the other game 13-3.  There are several reasons these teams are unbalanced.  One, our rec. league allows the big barrel bats, but I simply can't justify spending $150-$200 for a bat for a 7 year old.  Also, there is suppose to be a balance of six 7 year olds and six 8 year olds.  However, after watching the games this past weekend it was evident that was not the case.  

Regardless, it is tough because then the parents start to get on you and your 1st assistant is telling you we should do this, that, and the other.  

I have a feeling it is going to be a tough summer as the league is just getting started, but I am not going to let the kids see it.  

It is hard for my son and 4 of his friends on the team because last year we won the entire coach pitch 5-6 league and 3 of these players, including my son, were all-stars.  

In the long run, I know that none of this will matter, but we practiced hard for one month before the season started, we tweeked a few positions, and everyone is doing the best that they can.  

I just do not know how to stop the train of disappointment that these kids feel.  I overheard some of them the other day saying "We suck."  

One more thing, I can't get my kids to swing hard or fast.  Any suggestions?  

Any advice is appreciated.  

Thank you

ANSWER: John,

You are in a tough spot.  I know how you feel and just keep your eye on the goal of this season:  player development.  I know everyone wants to win all the time, but this is baseball.  It is also 7-8 year old baseball and the predicators of what wins at that level are age, size of kids and athleticism.  If you don't have the older kids, the bigger kids or the athletes, you are not going to win a whole lot.  This point will have to be made to the parents.

My first suggestion is a coach/parent meeting.  NO kids.  Let them know your disappointment in the first games and let them know what you see as the future of this season.  Put it in a good light, but if you see this as a losing campaign, let them know and let them know that your focus is going to be on player development.  Then deliver!!!!

You can't tell them something and then not deliver.

Ask them if they want to "win at all costs".  Let them know your philosphy and vision.  Schedule out practices and give team goals. Then everything is out in the open and expectations are made known.  Then if you lose, everyone is prepared for it.

The team focus with the kids should be good play and smart play and learning.  The kids should be measured on that, not on the score.  If you have a bunch of small, non-athletic 7 years olds and you are playing a bunch of giant 8 year olds, guess what, you are going to get your head handed to you.  That is OK.  Did your team play hard?  Did they not quit?  

Quick story: My 7 year old daughter played her first year of girls coach pitch softball.  The ages in her division were 7-10.  That is right 10!!!!  Her team had only 5 8 year olds, the rest 7. Of the 8 year olds, only 2 were any good. The other teams had more 9-10 year olds than 7-8.  We got hammered over and over, but never quit.  Toward the end of the season, we played the first place, undefeated team who had previously beaten us bad twice. We had won two games in a row and then beat them 11-9.

Hold your head up and stay positive. Don't fall into the trap of win, win, win.  Work with the kids.  Teh ones that think they "suck" will.  These are the kids that need to work harder.

As far as batspeed, good mechanics create speed, but remember, they are 7-8.  I don't know any 7-8 year olds that create bat speed.  If they hit the ball solid, good.  When they are 11-12, let's worry about bat speed.

Coach Boss

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Coach,

Thank you for the advice.  As far as telling the parents, what we expect, what our goals were (i.e. player development and having fun) I called the parent meeting at the beginning of the year and told them everything out in the open.  

I agree I need to have a follow up talk.  I want to thank you because many of the things you said I beleived were right, but I had my doubts if I was headed in the right direction.  

Thank you again and you may hear from me again.  

Answer
John,

Remember you are the coach.  You should know these kids better than anyone in regards to their abilities, strengths, weaknesses, attitudes, behaviors, etc..  You will know them better than their parents.  Parents usually see their kids as stars.  That is very often not the case.  I used to give a "report card" of sorts in which I handed out a checklist and let the kids and parents know what their strengths were and what they weren't.  I also gave recommendations on what to do to improve.  More practice at home, working on mechanics, or attitude adjustments like becoming more of a team player.

I found that the kids would usually take it to heart and work on it and most of the parents thanked me.  It is the extra effort that they appreciate, even if it involves some constructive criticism. The biggest key is to know your stuff.  Know your rules, your drills, your mechanics. Spend time learning. You can never know it all.  

You will still have some parents who think they know more than you and that you are an idiot, but you will never see them actually coaching.  Do your best and make it fun.  Remember, you are not going to get promoted coaching at this level. Do it for the kids.

I still see kids that I coached 10 years ago, who don't play baseball anymore and they come up and say, "Hi coach".  That is a good thing.

Coach Boss