Golf Joke Collection part 2

Golf Joke Collection part 2

Golf Joke Collection

PART 2

Now, that's very good. Flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.

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Two women were put together as partners in the club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What your handicap?" "Oh, I a scratch golfer," the other replied. "Really!"  discount golf clubs exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with her. "Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!"

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Two ants were in a sand trap watching a duffer flailing away. "Quick," said the one ant to the other. "Get on the ball before he kills us."

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It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Jim was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker – "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the men's tee, please!"
Jim was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement – "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up the men's tee!"
Jim had had enough. He shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!"

—

A golfer ran into a friend he not seen for years at the driving range one day. They talked about their games, their swings, and all sorts of things. Eventually, one of them said, "How's the family?" The other replied, "Oh, pretty good. I got a new set of clubs for the wife the other day!" "Hey, good trade!" replied the friend!

—

Rab addressed the ball and took a magnificent swing but somehow, something went wrong and a horrible slice resulted. The ball went onto the adjoining fairway and hit a man full force. He dropped!
Rab and his   partner ran up to the stricken victim who lay, quite unconscious, with the ball between his feet.
"Good heavens" said Rab, "what shall I do?"
"Don't move him" said his playing partner, "if we leave him here he becomes an immovable obstruction and you can either play the ball as it lies or drop it
two club lengths away."

—

A priest, Jesus, and an old man tee off. The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole.
Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He quickly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole.
The old man tees off with a short worm burner that trickles into the hazard. Soon after a fish eats the ball and swims across the pond with it in its mouth. Just then an eagle swoops down and snatches the fish with the golf ball and flies off. The eagle loses its grip and drops the fish on the green.  discount golf clubs The fish then spits out the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one.
Jesus turns to the old man and replies, "Play fair dad!"

 

1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
4. Avoid a quick back swing.
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please … while others are preparing to go.
10. Don't take extra strokes.