The Frustrations Of A Golf Course Green Keeper

I have no idea on how many Course Superintendents read these articles, but for those that do here are a few of my gripes. Golfers who read this, accept the criticism of a few, and remember the frustrations that are felt by the keeper of the greens.

Now not all golfers are the same, and some, due to their standard of experience, will wonder what this gripe is all about, but be honest, when thinking over your golfing career, how much of this is true.

A “Keep” spends time everyday attempting to produce the best possible surface for a golfer to play on. Nature is in continuous competition with him, delivering hot days followed by cold, dry periods followed by excessive precipitation, winds that vary each day, and the pests and diseases that can destroy a beautiful surface over night. The “keep” performs miracles, and on the day the golfer arrives to play, what is it that he does on the first tee box? Takes three divots with his practice swings, and then connects with the ball correctly, not marking the grass surface at all.

What is a divot ? For the uneducated non golfers, it is the cavity left when a piece of turf is dug from the ground by the club head in making a stroke. Some golfers could do less damage with a spade, and some checking the depth of the root system of the grass. I have even been tempted to offer an auger to some, it might do less damage. Sand bags and sand supplied to enable the golfer to repair the divot, an extra weight to be carried for eighteen holes and then emptied into the sand storage receptacle, allowing the following golfer the opportunity to fill his bag and transport it once more around the same eighteen holes.

Golf carts and pathways, why can the cart not follow the path? A golfer will park next to a sign saying no carts and not see it. The golf ball, a mere 42.67 mm in diameter is found in tall grass, but a sign 300 mm wide and 200 mm high becomes invisible. Is it that the golfers assume “Keeps” place these signs for their inconvenience?

How many times a day does a “Keep” receive a complaint re "the condition" of a bunker? A hazard people, stay out of them. Golfers have complained about the condition the one week, and the next, complemented the staff about the same bunker. It is possible that no change was made to the hazard, but the player has played a good shot this round and now the bunker is perfect. Golfers, learn to play the hazard as you find it, there are a number of Professional Golfers that will willingly take your money and teach you how to play the shot.

Water hazards are there to make the hole more difficult, not placed there by the “Keep” to catch you out, or for them to harvest the sunken objects you place in them.

Dustbins on the course, placed for your convenience, it amazes me that a full cool drink bottle or water bottle is lighter than an empty one. When empty, dropped where the golfer happens to be, too heavy to carry to the next receptacle or dustbin. This is also the case with golf ball sleeves, tee bags, and many other paper or plastic packets.

The Course Superintendent, Green Keeper or Keep as they are known, spends long hours preparing the course for the golf players, be considerate of his and his staff's busy schedules, appreciate the beauty of the course that you are playing on and respect the condition, attempt to leave it the same as you found it for the next player.

But most of all, STOP BLAMING THE “KEEP” FOR YOUR BAD SHOTS!

I feel so much better after placing this on paper.