Funny Quotes from Golfers

Golf is a game of glory and humiliation. You can shoot a birdie on one hole and hit it onto the roof of a house on the next. They have yet to build the rollercoaster that can even remotely compare and golfers know it as these quotes show.

1. I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf. - John Daly

2. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. - Sam Snead

3. It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. - Hank Aaron

4. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

5. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.

6. Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. - Huxtable Pippey

7. The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

8. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

9. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon

10. Golf is not a game, it's bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.

11. Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course. - Lee Trevino

12. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald Ford

13. Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses. - Adlai Stevenson

14. You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. - Lee Trevino

15. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. - Pete Dye