New Year Resolutions For Fish

Sure, every year it is the same ol' thing--fishermen sit down crack open a bottle of Hamms, and rattle off the same resolutions they have been rattling off for years.

Do more fishing, learn to actually tie a fly-correctly- or break down and take that trip of a lifetime you have been promising yourself for the last three decades.

For the fish, our little water dwelling friends, it is a little different.

Do they get together and crack open a nice warm can of "Mayflys", (from the land of murky baubles!) and swear off salmon eggs for the rest of their lives?

Let's take a look at what's transpiring beneath the riffles as we head into the new year.....

"Hey Buck, looks like we made it another year out here in Snagville."

"Yeah, it sure has been a rough year--Finley."

"Tell me about it. I've kept having these recurring lip pains all year, seems to happen every few weeks, whenever I eat too much."

"I got the same problem. Next year I swear I am going to lose some weight, stop eating so much meat and cheese. Especially worms those things are loaded with calories."

"You know Buck, I heard about this new fad diet a few of the guys have been trying, they say it works real good."

"Oh yeah, what is it Finley?"

"It' called the 'Swim-Fast' diet."

"SWIM-FAST, that's not new, that' been around for years. I tried that back in 99-just wound up using it to wash down my salmon eggs, and gained nine ounces."

"I even tried the 'AtFins' diet--the one where you eat nothing but caddis flys-- but my cholesterol went up so high, I started overproducing my Omega-3's."

"Whoa, that can be dangerous."

"The best one I found was this diet they call the 'South Beach' diet--but our river runs north to south-- so I never could find a south beach."

"That can be a problem. Hey, pass me the clam dip."

"Maybe we should just excercise more?"

"No way- I knew this fish named Sal, I think his last name was Monella--anyway, he decided to go on this big excercise 'adventure', stayed away three years. Came back rock hard, bigger than I ever remember him, croaked a few months after getting back."

"Wow, that sucks."

"It wasn't pretty either, he got all white and sore looking, then just went belly up."

"There was some rumours he was using FGH-you know- the Fish Growth Hormone."

"Nah, my cousin knew Sal, said he just really grew on his big ocean adventure."

"Guess exercise isn't all that good then--hey, try this algae it's delicious."

"Ya know Finley, it seems like a lot of our friends have been disappearing lately."

"I know Buck, they got that same shooting pain in their lip--seemed like they were in a real hurry to get out of here after that--and then they never came back."

"Friends can be fickle."

"Yeah, they come and go--but new ones always seem to show up."

"We got any more "Mayflys"?"

"You just drank the last one."

"Shoot, I 've also got do a little less drinking in 2006. My wife won't spawn with me anymore-says I always smell like a drowned worm."

"I hear ya man. Wife's always on my dorsal about that kinda stuff too."

"Anyway, I love ya man--at least you and I will always be best fins. Right?"

"Easy dude, I think you may have had one to many 'Mayflys'. You're getting sappy on me."

"Well, the waters getting pretty brown Finley. Must be getting pretty close to the New Years."

"Water's rising too, Buck. I bet your right."

" Here's to a great 2006 Finley."

"Happy New Years, Buck."

"Guess I'll head home, back to 'cut bank'"

"Buck, you're in no condition to swim I'll call ya cab."

"Thanks, Fin"....................